A Toady Tale

Life in the tropics may sound like paradise but it does have a downside. Monsoonal rains, cyclones, the odd bit of mildew & cane toads are part & parcel of Summer in north Queensland. I can live happily with all of the above except the cane toads. Ugly repulsive creatures they breed prolifically. It gives you cause to wonder if Mrs Cane toad isn't hoping (in vain I fear) that one day she'll produce a handsome prince.

When we first moved to Alligator Creek (stupid name there are no Alligators in Australia) to live perched on the top of a hill we felt a certain smugness that there was not a single toad to be seen. Sadly our grand state of isolation didn't last more than one summer. Our lights attracted bugs and the bugs attracted the dreaded toads. With each passing year the population has increased. Disgusting creatures they might be but we balk at using the usual methods of eradication i.e. Toadex, salt, bleach etc & opt for the most humane method of despatching them. This involves a large set of tongs kept specifically for this purpose, lots of plastic shopping bags (for triple wrapping) & space in the bottom drawer of our freezer. Hence forth referred to as the mortuary drawer.

Naturally we don't inform guests that we keep frozen toads just millimetres away from the frozen peas etc. Unfortunately we were remiss in not aprising them of the specific purpose of said tongs. Disaster struck at a recent outdoor function when I nipped inside for just a moment ( I swear) & returned to find one of our enterprising lunch guests serving out the crumbed chicken breasts stuffed with camembert cheese, using the offending instrument. In my defence I held an inner debate lasting at least several minutes weighing up my options. I had spent a large chunk of my morning preparing that chicken & I could hardly offer them frozen toads as a substitute, could I? So silently quoting the old adage about what they don't know etc I smiled and discreetly switched the tongs.

I am pleased to inform all future visitors that the toady tongs now have a new home- well away from the hands of the unsuspecting.

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